I was just looking at my past entries, and I was just listening to the song "Life's a Dance" that I have playing on this blog. I though that I would give a little explanation for why I chose that song to be one of the songs to play on Makayla's blog.
Is is because it refers to a blue eyed girl? No, Makayla has brown eyes like me.
Is it because it talks about milestones like crawling and walking? No. Makayla does not even do those things yet.
Why then did I choose this song? That is the easiest question of the evening.
Here's the very long answer. I chose this song because it just portrays so well the way that I feel my life has unfolded. I never had things come easily to me. I never was the smartest, prettiest, skinniest, or most talented girl around among my high school or college friends. I have always come in contact with so many people who could perform better than me while only putting out a minimal amount of effort. I have always had to work hard for any of my achievements whether that achievement was finally making the dance team after trying out for the first time just to reckon with the dissapointment that I was just not good enough (yet) to be a part of the team or whether it was graduating with my masters with only one B after struggling to write that not so perfect paper. I always was the one who felt like I had to crawl again to get where I needed to go only to realize that I was usually the one who unexpectedly ended up being the leader when I was once a follower. I was the long shot many times, but I always finished the race even if I was not the winner. I have many regrets about things that I have done or wish that I had done. I just look at those things as part of the dance that is my life. Everything that has happened to me or that I have created for myself (intentionally or unintentinally) has molded me into the person who I am. Still today, I find myself running backwards half the time when I have taken only one step forward in the first place. I have always understood that giving was receiving. I was in 4-H for 10 years, so I learned the value of serving others. Now I am a social worker listening to other people's depressing problems day in and day out. I may complain a lot about my job and wanting to stay at home with Makayla, but I think that some moms just need to go to work as others just need to be at home with their children. I am one of those moms that needs to work. This world would be a sad and lonely place if all the social worker moms decided to stay at home with their babies. I really want to be able to stay at home with Makayla, but I have always believed that social work is a calling not a career. Am I to ignore my calling? I feel that I should not. I am needed by many. I KNOW that I have saved at least 1 life of a suicidal client since my return to work in January, so why is everything still so hard for me?
Anyway, I find myself singing this song to Makayla all the time for some reason. Do I just like it that much, or maybe it is just embedded deep inside my being? I just feel some sort of connection everytime I hear or sing this song. How is that possible? Isn't this song like 15 years old or something like that? Anyway, I just want to teach Makayla that life is about working hard and building character. Well, That is all I have to say about that.
Is is because it refers to a blue eyed girl? No, Makayla has brown eyes like me.
Is it because it talks about milestones like crawling and walking? No. Makayla does not even do those things yet.
Why then did I choose this song? That is the easiest question of the evening.
Here's the very long answer. I chose this song because it just portrays so well the way that I feel my life has unfolded. I never had things come easily to me. I never was the smartest, prettiest, skinniest, or most talented girl around among my high school or college friends. I have always come in contact with so many people who could perform better than me while only putting out a minimal amount of effort. I have always had to work hard for any of my achievements whether that achievement was finally making the dance team after trying out for the first time just to reckon with the dissapointment that I was just not good enough (yet) to be a part of the team or whether it was graduating with my masters with only one B after struggling to write that not so perfect paper. I always was the one who felt like I had to crawl again to get where I needed to go only to realize that I was usually the one who unexpectedly ended up being the leader when I was once a follower. I was the long shot many times, but I always finished the race even if I was not the winner. I have many regrets about things that I have done or wish that I had done. I just look at those things as part of the dance that is my life. Everything that has happened to me or that I have created for myself (intentionally or unintentinally) has molded me into the person who I am. Still today, I find myself running backwards half the time when I have taken only one step forward in the first place. I have always understood that giving was receiving. I was in 4-H for 10 years, so I learned the value of serving others. Now I am a social worker listening to other people's depressing problems day in and day out. I may complain a lot about my job and wanting to stay at home with Makayla, but I think that some moms just need to go to work as others just need to be at home with their children. I am one of those moms that needs to work. This world would be a sad and lonely place if all the social worker moms decided to stay at home with their babies. I really want to be able to stay at home with Makayla, but I have always believed that social work is a calling not a career. Am I to ignore my calling? I feel that I should not. I am needed by many. I KNOW that I have saved at least 1 life of a suicidal client since my return to work in January, so why is everything still so hard for me?
Anyway, I find myself singing this song to Makayla all the time for some reason. Do I just like it that much, or maybe it is just embedded deep inside my being? I just feel some sort of connection everytime I hear or sing this song. How is that possible? Isn't this song like 15 years old or something like that? Anyway, I just want to teach Makayla that life is about working hard and building character. Well, That is all I have to say about that.
Go Dance your life. Goodnight my family and friends.
1 comment:
Hey, Amanda-I tried to send you an e-mail about playgroup, but I must have the wrong address because it sent it back to me. Just wanted you to know it's Friday from 12-2pm at Kari Tate's house. Let me know if you need more info. Hope to see you and Makayla there!
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